Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous.

Here’s a roundup of the best we saw:

As long as you’re not yet married , you’re still single.

— Headking?? (@TheHeadking__) September 8, 2020

Do we need to teach some people about what we call ‘situationship’

2.

some girls are not romantic at all, how I go throw you pillow

You come use USB cord whip me for neck?….

— Stephen.A? (@_stephhani) September 8, 2020

To be fair, all is fair in love and war, so take what you get.

3.

But wait o, why you go enter toilet without your phone??

What will you be doing while pooing??

— DERAH ?? ?? (Uncle Chin-Chin) (@Derah_93) September 8, 2020

This tweet should not be taken seriously! meditate in the toilet if you must.

4.

Do you feel jealous when you see others progressing?
Just put your right hand on your chest right now and say this prayer; oh God I'm a witch, please kill me!!

— Engr Obinnaya?? ?? (@obyn_designs) September 8, 2020

If this is you avoid this prayer because the Lord listens.

5.

When the woman that reported me to my mom, is begging my mom to stop beating me. https://t.co/uxP62pSsdG

— ADAM? (@koressR) September 7, 2020

We have all been here at some point. Even teachers who do the most fall in this category.

6.

Did u know that there's a smell in your house that you can't smell but only visitors can.

— ʟᴀsᴛ_ʙᴏʀɴ✨ (@offcial_mukhtar) September 8, 2020

Please don’t think about this too much. It is true, but if you think about this too much, you may end up with OCD.

7.

"I'll get back to you"

If I ever tell you this, please forget about whatever we discussed.

— Sisi (@sisi_Riaa) September 8, 2020

Take a cue from this and either choose to be a tormentor with texts and email or just walk away when you see this.

8.

Apart from those women that serve food at weddings, which other people think they've made it in life? ?

— Queencess ? (@Nappyblaze) September 8, 2020

There is a list, but these ones are part of the people topping that list.

9.

Someone said "what if we stop educating short people and start keeping them as pet"??

— Hakorede (@lonely_bhoy) September 8, 2020

Why? Just why? Don’t let Kevin Hart see this though!

10.

When you are in the backseat desperately trying to be a part of the front seat conversation https://t.co/SWjdgJNlvf

— O.V.A.tion™ (@Dre_Ova) September 8, 2020

You should learn to start your own back seat party.