Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1 Toke Makinwa has been talking about Maje again and it’s not what you’d expect:

Maje is a great guy, we’re just not great people for each other. He wasn't emotionally abusive – Toke Makinwa.

{Source: @instablog9ja} pic.twitter.com/fuZyAcZzZ2

— Viral Trendz (@TheViralTrendz) July 3, 2017

Really, sis Toke? *Flipping furiously through Unbecoming*

2. Maitama Sule

Nigerians mourn the death of Maitama Sule. Here are a few of the tributes:

My deepest condolences to the family of Amb Dr Maitama Sule on his demise. We've lost an elder statesman.

I'm glad I could make him laugh. pic.twitter.com/sFa87CyQ7Q

— Chi (@JajaPhD) July 3, 2017

I loved listening to Maitama Sule, the Dan masanin Kano.
He was a great orator, who spoke with reason, knowledge and objectivity
May he RIP pic.twitter.com/nLut7M6Uae

— ZahrahMusa PhD (@Zahrahmusa) July 3, 2017

Yusuf Maitama Sule is an Orator non like him. May his soul Rest In Peace. pic.twitter.com/LZ6PoyIFF2

— Usman Yau (@Usman_Yau_78) July 3, 2017

3. Osi Suave

Fresh off the #OsiSuaveChallenge, the Beat FM OAP has gotten Twitter NG to open up about their parents. The replies are touching:

Quote this tweet with the most selfless thing your parents have ever done for you.

— Cinderella Man (@Osi_Suave) July 3, 2017

I will never forget the day my mum packed her expensive lace to the market with intent to sell them so that she could buy my books. https://t.co/F8lOHg3A2I

— Ogunyemi D. 'Damola (@OgunyemiDamola) July 3, 2017

Many years back my dad lost his job & had to pick up a job as a driver &later an accountant in a school so we could attend at a reduced rate https://t.co/RC2niLIqjZ

— Ebube (@eBubaY) July 3, 2017

https://twitter.com/MauriceMolokwu/status/881810316308381696

Mom was pregnant 2 hav me & had issues, Dr's advised she wouldn't survive, had 2 options giving birth/loosing her life. I'm alive so is she.

— ? (@Kuma_Tor) July 3, 2017

See Ehn Osi, is it the days of trekking from Mushin to EJIGBO cos we had to eat at night?

— TAILOR- M U S H R O O M✂️ (@mushrooom11) July 3, 2017

Mom sent me to sch with a loan that had 200% interest and must be repaid within a Yr cos she must get another one for next level.

— TAILOR- M U S H R O O M✂️ (@mushrooom11) July 3, 2017

I remember wen I was a kid
The spoke of a motorcycle chopped off my heel
Mama spent 2 months with me skipping work and all
Doc said I'd die

— Charles jr (@Charlesjr_11) July 3, 2017

Awww.

 

4. Omojuwa

Residents of Ikorodu have been crying about Badoo Boys massacre for a good while now. Lagos state government seems to have adopted the motto “mum’s the word” which triggered retaliation lynching in the area. In case the government is confused, Omojuwa would like to remind them- The buck stops with Ambode.

Jungle justice is increasingly becoming the people's reaction to Badoo. People will eventually come to see it as normal if govt does nothing

— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) July 3, 2017

Jungle justice is barbaric and abnormal. It must be condemned without reservation. It is not a form of Justice, it is a form of crime.

— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) July 3, 2017

The govt. has to go after the Badoo gang. If they don't, it will – along with the reactions e.g. Jungle Justice – grow into a BIGGER MONSTER

— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) July 3, 2017

5. Mr Aye Dee

You probably heard that a few pastors have asked Nigerian students to resist Arabic as one of the subjects in Secondary school. Twitter NG has weighed in on the controversy.

We’re calling it The Tower of Babel.

Mr Aye Dee is for and others are well, see for yourself below:

Making all Nigerian students learn Arabic (like French) = step in the right direction. French, English & Arabic = Africa's 3 main languages.

— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) July 3, 2017

6. Robert aka you can’t tell me nothinv you can’t prove.

You can Never force Arabic on Christians. They are wasting their time. They will all die trying. One vigil is enough to cause confusion

— Rob (@owi_rob) July 3, 2017

Christian schools will nt even accept it

— Lone Wolf (Apex Predator) (@Diosa_Fhunom) July 3, 2017

But it's an added advantage

— YOUR DADDY'S MAIN CHIC (@Babypeng_) July 3, 2017

It's a disadvantage. Christians have no business to learn a thing about Prophet Muhammad, non whatsoever.

— Rob (@owi_rob) July 3, 2017

Arabic is one of the languages that originated from the tower of Babel ? it has absolutely nothing to do with Prophet Muhammed…

— YOUR DADDY'S MAIN CHIC (@Babypeng_) July 3, 2017

So can Arabic be taught or learnt without the mention of Prophet Muhammed?

— Rob (@owi_rob) July 3, 2017

Agreed.bt hw dos it help nigeria?? Dts so far off.its nt one of d major languages.
with d division in nigerian religions..best nt to go der

— Lone Wolf (Apex Predator) (@Diosa_Fhunom) July 3, 2017

Arabic is not a Language when it comes to Africa and Nigeria ??. Note that!
We know exactly where the government is drifting to.

— Rob (@owi_rob) July 3, 2017

Oga, this was drafted in 2014. Do the maths

— YOUR DADDY'S MAIN CHIC (@Babypeng_) July 3, 2017

I jus tire o

— Lone Wolf (Apex Predator) (@Diosa_Fhunom) July 3, 2017

We’re all still speaking in tongues.

7. Miss Igho

Eko Bridge is falling down

Eko bridge is falling apart at apongbon. But of course, this is Nigeria where a disaster has to happen first so no big deal.

— Princess Pepisko Pepeye (@MissIgho) July 3, 2017

Govwenor Ambode ooooo.