Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1 Oby Ezekwesili

Practically every week in recent times, the BBOG activist has at least one viral tweet and that’s because TwitterNG loves her sense-making posts. Take this issue of the FG asking for more money to fight Boko Haram — after Buhari claimed they’d defeated the terrorist group; after Buratai (Chief of Staff) maintained the military had won the fight, and it was left to other sectors of the economy to complete!

So Mrs Ezekwesili wondered aloud:

The stomach infrastructure Governor Fayose proclaims his innocence very loudly.

For posterity sake, I wish to place it on record that I was not among the governors, who approved the withdrawal of $1bn, almost half of our savings in the Excess Crude Account, which belongs to the three tiers of govt to fight an already defeated Boko Haram.

— Peter Ayodele Fayose (@GovAyoFayose) December 15, 2017

@frickii_swick takes a swing at FFK

So what’s the truth? Senator Shehu Sani has an idea:

One billion dollars to fight Boko Haram as approved by the FG officially means the insurgent are yet to be "technically" defeated.The breakdown of the sum is necessary to make meaning out of it.Throwing money to counter those throwing bombs hasn't worked in the past.

— Senator Shehu Sani (@ShehuSani) December 15, 2017

2. Amara Nwankpa

You all heard about the Ikoyi whistleblower, who received half his reward and checked out of our shores?

That. Is. The. Nigerian. Dream.

The Ikoyi Whistle-Blower is living the Nigerian Dream:
1. Hammer
2. Change your loot into dollars
3. Exit the country
4. Pray for a better Nigeria from the comfort of the abroad.
?

— Amara Nwankpa (@Nwankpa_A) December 15, 2017

3. Teddy Eugene

An African personality has passed on. Twitter mourns.

Sad to announce the death of Havard Professor @calestous Juma, who died in Boston.

The Kenyan professor was listed among most reputable on earth in 2017.#RIPCalestous pic.twitter.com/ytHSdC2p93

— The African Voice (@teddyeugene) December 15, 2017

Reactions:

This is sad and a shame. Sparred on Twitter a couple of times and he was always very polite. God rest him https://t.co/RRbdUdCu1W

— tyro (@DoubleEph) December 15, 2017

Really sad news the passing of @calestous. Great thinker, generous with his knowledge and insight. And a great model for accessible academia.#RIPCalestous

— tolu ogunlesi (@toluogunlesi) December 15, 2017

4. Folaranmi Folayan

Remember that #EndSARS campaign, which saw Nigerians swapping stories of being manhandled, raped, extorted by SARS officials and to which Yomi Shogunle reacted unprofessionally and without empathy.

To all those having frightening dreams- “shot/beaten by police”. Pray to God not to allow it happen + avoid areas where police are responding to incidents in real life.
If such dreams persist, GO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST.

We only deal with real life police complaints @PoliceNG_PCRRU.

— Abayomi Shogunle (@YomiShogunle) November 30, 2017

Or the one where he tweeted something about knowing criminals by how much shisha they smoke? Folaranmi was so encouraged by the Nigerian Army’s response to allegations against its cadets, she considered it a necessary teaching moment for the ACP.

5. Isima Odeh

This adorable little boy just might be the next Olajumoke.

This is a beautiful picture. pic.twitter.com/cmQrlMMQgg

— World Publicist (@IsimaOdeh) December 14, 2017

6. @BragginRightz

Story time.

PS: If a Keke driver has to tell you that you have body odour, your own don be ooo.

A woman with body odor sat down with a keke driver in the front, the driver couldn't hold it anymore & whispered to the woman "Aunty, please go & buy roll on". She slapped him, they started fighting on the road & caused traffic.

— Bragg’ (@BragginRightz) December 15, 2017

7. Eketi

Today’s conversation has been all about the Muslim who refused to take off her hijab. It got quite contentious, as religious issues are wont to be. We featured perspectives from Muslims, here’s a lawyer’s point of view:

Others:

"Aminat, we are on site you need to use your safety helmet well. Please do the needful "
"Oga, I'm sorry.. I can't remove my hijab because "

Next thing crane with plenty concrete block lands on Aminat head. Booom Aminat is now with Allah.

????????

— ? Chairlady ? (@LadyToluu) December 14, 2017

Now I see why we have few female engineers.
???
Men don't even have stress. Imagine arguing with site supervisor u can't remove hijab for helmet ?????

— ? Chairlady ? (@LadyToluu) December 14, 2017

This only means she didn't learn anything bout the law.

The profession requires you to show no preference nor affiliation as a representative of justice in the court of law

Hijab (just like Cape used my nuns) is an identity of religious affiliation.

Go home

— Gustavo Ayanda (@Magiclammy) December 14, 2017

Goodnight.