Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

This Jonny Depp matter tho. ???‍♂️

— Frank Donga™ (@frankdonga_) March 14, 2019

It’s a serious something. God safe us.

There’s something enjoyable about walking barefoot occasionally sha. Not every time shoe and slippers.

— Dr. Joe Abah (@DrJoeAbah) March 14, 2019

Until something pricks your foot.

After doing conductor for the driver by collecting cash, we got to the gas station and nigga said, sisi mi ise o ti tan, ba mi te break yi mo le (young lady your work isn’t over, match the break down). I promise you i paid my tfare in full https://t.co/dlrdfOlwED

— Fehintoluwa Okegbenle (@datawkwardhuman) March 14, 2019

LOL.

It is a deluded fallacy that you can sell your soul to satan. Satan wants you to think that. Your soul is more valuable than anything satan has. What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and lose his soul? Translation: A human soul is worth more than the whole world.

— Reno Omokri (@renoomokri) March 14, 2019

Breaking news: My wife is on the cover of @voguemagazine!!!!!!!!!!

@AdesuaEtomiW you are such an inspiration!!! I’m soooo PROUD of you and happy for you. This is only the beginning, by God’s grace. Shine like the star you were always meant to be, baby. Shine!!! pic.twitter.com/wpcqLLxvt4

— Banky Wellington (@BankyW) March 14, 2019

Susu, baby!

Basic things we don’t get right in this country. In Abuja to pick my Certificate of Return but no seats at the International Conference Center. Well wishers have taken over all the seats. No seats for those here to pick their certificates. Basic arrangements. Sign.

— Oloye Akin Alabi (@akinalabi) March 14, 2019

Just throw Nigeria into the bin.