Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Wole Ojo

https://twitter.com/SirWoley/status/996385678954057728

Well…

It can happen to anyone. Like when I had a long road trip and only asked the girl beside me the title of the book she was pretending to read. Lol!

2. Damola

Thanks for the customer feedback. We hope to serve you better. https://t.co/0DjHHQnWwy

— Eagle ? (@Damite2ky) May 15, 2018

Replying to:

See eehn Yoruba men deserve all the good things in this life. Yoruba men are just sweet ????….if you don’t have a Yoruba man in your life I don’t know what you’re doing ?

— Miss Joy .C. Washington (@AdakuNonso) May 13, 2018

Abeg abeg! What so ever happened to #MenAreScum?

Anyway, let’s just take it that this is one good evidence that the hashtag has been wrongly popularised.

Let’s put this way: #NotAllMenAreScum.

Meanwhile, we will come for Damola later. Which one is “we hope to blah blah blah”.

3. Rita

https://twitter.com/Rtzrita/status/996341612199469056

So “Likers FC” cannot do their work in peace again?

Na wa oo! How will you even please the world?

4. Femi Otedola

Please beware of impersonators that may try to leverage on my profile. My handle is @realFemiOtedola using the small letter for "L" in real. I just blocked an impersonator that used the capital letter for "i" in real which, when put side by side, look identical. Please beware.

— Femi Ote$ (@realFemiOtedola) May 15, 2018

Wait first. Una no go allow the man enter before una give am chilled water wey dey taste iron iron? Na wa oo!

5. Ebuka Obi-Uchendu

I’m so nervous about this ‘Living in Bondage’ remake they’re working on ?

— Ebuka Obi-Uchendu (@Ebuka) May 15, 2018

We are not even done dealing with the original one and they want to ‘shook’ us again…

We can’t wait!

Just negodu Don Jazzy’s reply:

U serious? Who is doing it? https://t.co/dCwVJ4KM80

— ITS DONJAZZY AGAIN? (@DONJAZZY) May 15, 2018

It’s Gowon and Aisha Buhari. *rolls eye* #WaitForIt.

6. Adu

Yen yen yen…..The tweet stuff wasn't that serious uncle?. If u want to give someone money give and let us rest. pic.twitter.com/4nVZ3LeNtY

— Adu (@stalkingggggggg) May 15, 2018

Adu Adu… let us leave it there till later.

7. Deji Adeyanju

Osinbajo is the worst Vice President in the history of Nigeria. His Senior Advocate of Nigeria is a waste. Under his eyes, the Buhari led government disobeyed and continue to disobey valid Court Orders.

It’s better to have a carpenter as VP than to have Osinbajo as a VP.

— Adeyanju Deji ?? (@adeyanjudeji) May 15, 2018

Ahah! This one is angry oo.

8. Slim Noble

With all due respect.
You're lying
I learnt how to cook from mum(of blessed memory)
The ones I can't cook I watch YouTube tutorials to learn how to. https://t.co/L1GRbzCoUC

— slimnoble ?? (@Noblekenson) May 15, 2018

Please tell him. That is how people generalise. Fallacious Generalisations you would say.

See what he is saying:

80% of boys that can cook learnt how to during their University days.

The "Na your belly go tell you" talk actually motivated us.

— Uncle G™ (@gbovo_official) May 15, 2018

80 percent? From which survey biko?