Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Nsukka Boy

I strongly demand an ATM machine that gives me a hug and whispers 'Everything will be okay' into my ear each time I check my account balance… pic.twitter.com/sRAfBxxw7k

— Patriotic Nigerian (@thatnsukaboy) October 9, 2018

You demand?

Go and work joor. Lol!

2. Saka

Saw this "look-gooding" guy, smartly dressed, heading to work or an interview I presume. Then boooooooooooooooommmmmmmm! A speeding vehicle ran into a pothole with water in it and splashed the poor guy all over.

Government needs to fix these bad roads.

— Call Me Saka (@SymplySaka) October 9, 2018

We have been saying this for years. What does it take to build standard roads, or repair bad roads?

For how long do we have to continue asking. We f**king pay tax!!

We can’t even start talking about the people that have died as a result of bad roads or the mental stress we go through on these roads.

3. Simi

When you realise it is impossible for everyone to like anything, you will rest.

— Simi (@SympLySimi) October 9, 2018

Abi na.

4. Bukky Shonibare

My mom resigned from the Nigerian Air Force 24 years ago.

Efforts to process her pension was one of the most difficult and emotionally-sapping period I've seen her endure.

Few days ago, she called me, screaming in joy: 'Anike, mo ti gba alert ooo.'

The relief is indescribable.

— Bukky Shonibare (@BukkyShonibare) October 9, 2018

Such relief!

Some people will say it is because 2019 is here. At least they paid it. 24 years ago is not child’s play biko. Hopefully, they sustain such an effort.

5. Ayekooto

The Sokoto State Chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Alhaji Ibrahim Milgoma on Tuesday said the party will not bow to the pressure that the party’s 2019 election flag-bearer, Alhaji Mannir Dan-iya be substituted for Tambuwal…

— Ayekooto (@DeeOneAyekooto) October 9, 2018

But there were reports that Dan-Iya stepped down for Tambuwal?

6. Arinze Odira

If ladies stop expecting 'transport' from guys when they visit, perhaps, alot of nonsense will stop

If men start seeing giving 'transport' as courtesy, or because you earn more and can afford to take the burden, perhaps, alot of nonsense will stop

Everyone should go make money

— Arinze Odira (@CaptainArinze) October 9, 2018

So much sense in just one tweet. But…

7. Temisan Okomi

Bayelsa. Population about 1.8 million with eight LGAs. In March this year, it received N13.2 billion from FAAC. Only Delta & Rivers received more. Yet they owe salaries & pensions for months.

Ain't life just grand?

— Temisan Okomi (@temiokomi) October 9, 2018

Life is grand and leadership – in Nigeria – is grand-er.