Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Senator Ben Bruce

The ‘commonsense’ senator has given some advice on how to go about ending the Libya slave auctions.

He says, “the long-term solution is to provide jobs and good business climate back home in Nigeria“.

Nigerians are hardworking people, and what they want is an opportunity and not a handout. pic.twitter.com/0xYutGEF7u

— Ben Murray-Bruce (@benmurraybruce) December 18, 2017

2. Sleekygurl

 

Spending millions to go to school does not guarantee you a job though.

https://twitter.com/sleekygurl/status/942098332100554759

3. Aso Rock

A new policy that might surprise Nigerians…

CORRECTED:

##DidYouKnow If you're a Nigerian LIVING IN NIGERIA & earning income overseas,it is taxable in Nigeria! Nigeria is cooperating w/ foreign govts to share info on assets & income earned overseas by Nigerians domiciled in Nigeria. Embrace @VAIDSNG today,for peace of mind pic.twitter.com/W636BFIs8l

— Government of Nigeria (@AsoRock) December 18, 2017

4. Urban Culture

On the fuel scarcity…

Although, PENGASSAN has called off the strike having met with the Minister of State for Petroleum, Ibe Kachikwu and the Minister of Labour, Chris Ngige.

Logic to the fuel scarcity: FG didn't mind PENGASSAN's strike, fuel scarcity nationwide, queues and frustrations to make Nigerians say "even if it's N200/liter but readily available". Boom, there goes FG's opportunity

— Oba Of Nigeria (@UrbanCulture06) December 18, 2017

5. Abioye

But how true is this one now?

LOL only a broke guy has all that time in the world and attention y'all crave , a rich guy just wants to bang or marry #Facts

— dàflow (@DaflowABIOYE) December 18, 2017

6. Deji Adeyanju

Our Mathematics teacher wants us to talk about President Buhari’s age.

https://twitter.com/adeyanjudeji/status/942871282084917248

7. Ani

You know why this is true?

We always, always leave other important things and chase after one thing that we think should be wiped out.

For instance, if a child has received – from his/her parents – adequate sex education, there is every tendency that the child would not learn it the bad way, from ‘outside’.

If only people condemn fornication and other sinful acts half the way they condemn Rape, what a better place the world would have been.

— #PrayForNigeria (@EzraelAni) December 18, 2017