Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Thatudiboy

Dear Ladies,

Don't tell your boyfriend to surprise you this coming Valentine's Day else he will take you to church or the nearest view center and you will be really surprised.

— G•O•A•T• (@thatudiboy) February 12, 2018

This year’s Valentine’s Day is just packed up – Champions League, Ash Wednesday… Asking him to surprise you is giving him to choose ‘probably’ freely. Yet, you can support his love of God, or love for football.

2. Ayodele Fayose

The governor of Ekiti, is asking the Federal Government to do more to protect lives and property in the light of herdsmen attacks and other security challenges in the country.

I call on the FG,  which controls all security apparatus in the country to wake up to its responsibility of protecting the lives and properties of Nigerians,  especially against these criminal herdsmen that are now acting more like terrorists.

— Peter Ayodele Fayose (@GovAyoFayose) February 12, 2018

Some replies:

I also call on Governors who collect Monthly Security Allowance to stop pocketing the money and spend it to secure the people.

— Ayekooto (@DeeOneAyekooto) February 12, 2018

I wonder why you are the only governor championing this…where are the rest? Oh, they are playing safe cos of 2019. I see

— Oluwatosin fasuyi (@Fashtos) February 12, 2018

The twitter celeb governor ??.
You are calling FG on twitter for RTs. When you people want to discus stealing our money and stuff is it not phone call you make?
Yeye man https://t.co/VFUkWAjdza

— Chairman ?? (@mr_adedeji) February 12, 2018

3. Sam Adeyemi

As you begin this new week, don’t be discouraged with how things appear now! You will experience new beginnings and new opportunities will show up for you. Enjoy wisdom and an unusual grace.

— Sam Adeyemi (@sam_adeyemi) February 12, 2018

Amen!!!

4. MatchMaker

Yesterday night my trafficator fell on 3rd Mainland and i parked immediately. I didnt know the exact spot where it fell so i was pacing up and down. One Mopol saw me and said "Hope no be say u wan jump inside water bcos na bullet u go collect if u try am" ?

— Mr MatchMaker (@Tha_Mentalist) February 12, 2018

Lol! I can’t even imagine that. It will sound like: “Kai! if you try am, I go shoot you”.

5. Stay woke

A relationship with a lack of communication WONT work. There has to be vulnerability. Your partner is NOT a mind reader. If you let your ego/pride keep you from expressing how you feel, nothing will get fixed. Stop ignoring them & learn about each other, so you can grow together

— ? ѕтαу ωσкє (@TattedUpBreezy) February 12, 2018

True.

6. Kemi Adetiba

https://www.instagram.com/p/BfEcuZ7nHqv/?taken-by=fiestymisfit

This "legit" me me teary-eyed. I'm in the middle of a long shoot day that promises to be even… https://t.co/3dF1UdWmcz

— Kemi Adetiba (@kemiadetiba) February 12, 2018

7.  Frank

https://twitter.com/makingcheddah/status/963010167066411008

Stop proscatinating, do it!