Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Temitope

Forget sex, nothing is sweeter than urinating and farting at the same time!

If you know, you know ??#tdigcomms pic.twitter.com/yyt6W7P9oJ

— Iam_Temitorpe (@Iam_Temitorpe) April 13, 2018

What else is left to see on social media?

Disgusting!! But… we all know the feeling shaa.

2. Adesua Etomi

We take social media way too seriously.
Will Smith is showing us how it should be done???
LOVE the guy.

— Adesua Etomi (@AdesuaEtomi) April 13, 2018

3. Telo

https://twitter.com/smartfulnex/status/985151560803082240

Sometimes, all you need is to call a spade, a spade.

4. Victor

https://twitter.com/drizzyposh25_/status/985150674357891072

Just like ‘they’ will check their phones after checking their wrist watches for the time.

It might not be trust issues though.

5. Delsainto

https://twitter.com/Delsainto/status/985171815843721216

Well, wait. Jesus is coming soon.

But before then, just remember that not all guys that enter your DM or say hi have ulterior motives.

6. Tosin

Once you admire a random guy and tell him he's handsome, in his shallow mind, you're automatically asking him out or want to fuck him.

— tosin. (@Oluwatosyyn) April 14, 2018

What category of “shallow minded” thinking is this?

What if we say the same about girls?

Abegii, park well!

7. Joe Abah

Even while one is in political purdah, one can’t help but laugh out loud at some things. This business of the alleged sale of the @APCNigeria handle to a white man for $2,000 is mad funny.?????

— Dr. Joe Abah (@DrJoeAbah) April 14, 2018

Let’s just say the account was hacked until the ‘authorities’ come out to ‘clarify’ such disgrace.

8. Troublemaker

You Lost your Job, she was there
When everybody left you, she was there
When you had nothing to eat, she was there
When Your landlord kicked you out, she was there
When lost 1 million Naira in bet9ja because of Chelsea, she was there
Bros? Can't you see she is Bad luck ?

— Trouble Maker ? (G.O) (@RovielOfficial) April 13, 2018

This table you’re shaking will hit feminists oo!