Last week, Rotimi Amaechi, the Minister of transportation was quite confused; Davido assured anyone who cared to listen that he doesn’t have an axe to grind with anybody; the Yoruba caucus of PDP certainly had an axe to grind with Governor Wike (they did not mince words, these ones) and Firdaus caused a social media commotion over her right to wear a hijab for call to bar.

You could say we had a tumultuous week. See what the parties referenced above- and more had to say in  our top 10 quotes below:

1 Rochas Okorocha

This one’s mouth is constantly leaking and nobody or topic is off limit.

“I am surprised that Asiwaju will now be speaking for the governors. He looks like somebody crying more than the bereaved. I did not see reason for the statement actually. But he commands my respect and I don’t want to join issue with the National Leader of my party.”

Indeed, you do.

2. Congress of Yoruba Sons and Daughters

PDP, Yoruba faction took Wike’s comments harrrrrrd. They were ready to call down fire and brimstone.

“We have been cheated. We have been maligned.

The irreverent, scandalous, arrogant and most myopic statement of the Governor of Rivers, Mr Nyesom Wike, is the crowning of all insults upon our people.

Let Wike and the Yoruba betrayers at home know that we will never play the role of a second fiddle to anyone. We are proud of our heritage. We are proud of our achievements across this nation. We do respect the feelings and the tradition of other people. Surely, we will never sit idle while anyone attacks the collective interest of the Yoruba race.”

Aha! When ethnicity trumps national identity. That’s how you know One Nigeria…errrr…is a farce.

3. Rotimi Amaechi

The former Governor of Rivers state had a lot to say this week about his arch-enemy and successor, Wike, and also about taking responsibility.

“The governor has just one agenda – if he is in his toilet, ‘Amaechi’; if he is outside his toilet, ‘Amaechi’,”

“He (Wike) was my staff; he is like one of my sons.”

We caught that dig, Minister.

Wike was not the only person Amaechi threw shade at. He actually turned the knife inwards. We didn’t see it coming.

“I agree with those who said we should stop criticizing the last government and that we should do our own.”

Hallelujah! We love eureka moments. Unfortunately, this one went to waste.

“When Obasanjo was leaving, he left about 65 billion dollars in the excess crude account, but this money was frittered away and we wonder where the money is,” he said.

“As at then, the price of crude oil during the President Goodluck Jonathan’s administration hovered around 140 dollars with this, they did not leave anything for the incoming government.”

Let’s rephrase that quotable quote of yours: This Federal Government has one agenda- if he’s in the toilet; GEJ; If he’s outside the toilet, GEJ.

4. NPMC/NNPC

Per The Managing Director, Nigerian Product Marketing Company (NPMC), Umar Ajiya:

“As you can see, trucks are arriving at several stations. We had also beefed up surveillance and directed to serve motorists free petrol confiscated from depots or filling stations found to be hoarding products.”

Way to go, guys. Free petrol will make for a very merry Christmas.

5. FRSC

A sober reminder from the Federal Road Safety Corps.

“Celebrations cannot be completed if you don’t arrive safely. Please spare your loved ones the agony of grieving this festive period.

Do not risk your life to travel, if possible avoid night journey and do not make this year travelling home a matter of life and death.”

In other words, no go do your own, come dey talk “ember months”. No play yasef.

6. Apostle Arome Osayi

This rhema could not have come at a better time.

“Tithe under the law was an obligation and as we have established already, its origin is not the law but the foretaste of grace under which Abraham lived. Tithe was not an obligation; it was an expression of the acknowledgement and acceptance of the lordship of God. Anyone in Christ cannot be under the curse of the law. So, no, not tithing does not attract any curse from God. But again, you cannot really say you love God and not cheerfully give everything you are and have to Him.”

Preach, pastor!

7. L&A Associates

Kiss Daniel is in the fight of his life- to keep his name and author his own destiny. But G-world entertainment said no. That’s why we commiserated with him when these revelations came to light

“Contract or Slavery? This is the same label that forced Kiss Daniel to perform few days after his father’s death and while still in the village trying to give his father a befitting burial. They put money first. They insisted he must interrupt his father burial rites and must perform or they will crush him in the industry.”

“This is the same Label that was paying Kiss Daniel only 30k and later 50k per month for about two years despite Kiss Daniel’s performing at several shows and making millions of naira for the label within the same period! Yet, Kiss Daniel never created any noise or scandal.”

8. G-world entertainment

However, G-world issued a statement that caused us to rethink our loyalty.

“Contrary to rumours making the rounds that Kiss Daniel was only on NGN 30,000 salary since he joined the label up until after the release of the Woju and Laye singles, this is nothing but falsehood. Before the release of those singles in 2014, Kiss Daniel was being paid a monthly allowance of NGN 30,000 to cover basic personal costs whilst he was still in his father’s house in Kuto, Abeokuta, he was also given a medical allowance of NGN 150,000 and other unrecorded stipends whilst no revenue was being generated by him. This remained the norm while the label invested heavily in recording sessions, productions, transportation, and other costs associated with developing him as an artist.”

At this point, it’s he said, she said. Show us the receipts, dammit.

9. Olubadan

An angry Olubadan is a what?

“By custom and tradition, no Olubadan has been recommended for removal from office by any high chief or group of high chiefs at any time. My own reign will not be an exception.

But, like a prodigal son, we hope that they would sooner than later renounce the unrecognised crowns and return to the warm embrace of their father as the palace door is perpetually open.”

10. Amasa Firdaus

Another controversy hit The Nigerian Law School and it was started by Firdaus. After stirring social media hashtag activists, Firdaus has finally spoken up.

“I knew that was what was going to happen.”

“My major concern is the approval of Hijab so that every person coming behind me will be able to use it for the call to bar (ceremony).”

“I used them. They complained [during] my first [law] dinner. That is how they do on every campus. You don’t wear hijab for dinner but I did. I chose Abuja because I know they were a little lenient.

“People have been removing their hijab over the years. What have those people who have removed it done?”