(ˈkrɪndʒwəːði)

We bring you a roundup of some of the most popular yet totally cringeworthy stories that made the rounds this week – all the things your regular newsmakers said or did that made for the biggest and most awkward moments.

Governor Wike tried to scare Nigerians

But the reactions were more like “Shut your mouth, Wike”, “You’ll never be president, Wike” and you can’t blame these people.

Rivers state Governor, Nyesom ‘Notorious’ Wike said he would have gone to war if he was in the shoes of former President Goodluck Jonathan who got stoned while campaigning in a part of the North in 2015.

Wike bragged, “If Nigeria was going to end on that day, let it end. I will not take what he took. That is why I respect the man a lot. I will not take that.  You see, I will not accept that. Let the heavens fall.”. Osheyy fighter!

This Kaduna teachers story is almost unbelievable

The type that goes with the tag, “Strange but true”.

Kaduna state Governor, Nasir El-Rufai said (by himself o) 33,000 primary school teachers in the state were given primary 4 level tests and over 21,000 of them failed. We won’t even go into the number of questions that this raises.

What a time to be alive in Nigeria!

LAUTECH VC bought an estate in fool’s paradise

Ladoke Akintola University of Technology has to be the most troubled tertiary institution in the country right now. The university has been on strike for two consecutive sessions, is facing funding issues from Oyo and Osun state governments and is owing lecturers at least 12 months salaries.

But here’s a Vice Chancellor whose eyes are wide open to the brightest side of life. While pacifying the disgruntled students, Prof Gbadegesin said, “Although we were not in session for two years, we were ranked the best state university in July and second best in NUC ranking”.

Since we’re all out here being silly, who’s picking up admission forms for the next entry?

Someone tried to overthrow Melania as First Lady

Since the advent of Donald Trump as president, America has been the butt of world jokes. Last week, we assured you Trump would make it to this column every other week because ridiculousness is second nature to him. But sorry to disappoint you, the man Trump was spared this week but his wife(s) got up to some drama.

His first wife, Ivana and mother of first daughter, Ivanka (what’s with the names) was largely unknown to most of us until recently when she surfaced bragging thus: “I don’t really want to call him (Trump) there (White House), because Melania is there. I don’t want to cause any kind of jealousy or something like that, because I’m basically first Trump wife. OK? I’m first lady.”

The otherwise cool and calm Melania would not have anyone trying to snatch her place so she responded by calling Ivana’s claims, “attention-seeking and self-serving noise”. But Ivana shot back with a response that seems quite legit to us, “She just has to get over it. She is first lady of America, but I am first lady Trump”.

Murder he wrote

So, this die-hard fan of Davido got on Twitter recently and tried to make us believe Wizkid got so jealous of Davido, he killed Tagbo just to implicate him.

He even called on Wizkid to make a confession otherwise…

All we can say to the young man is, “May light shine on the darkest places of your heart”.