by Tolu Omoyeni

We could just put up the name of our biggest loser for the week, summarize all his recent atrocities and we’d be so done with this post but nahh! The Senate gave us the most entertaining yet abominable drama this past week, Governor Ayo Fayose was shockingly silent all week – sore throat?, President Donald Trump is pissed at everyone and we’re just here to sum it all up for you in our list of winners and losers.

WINNERS

Omoni Oboli

After putting all that work in making the movie Okafor’s Law, Omoni got slammed a lawsuit right on the day the movie was to premiere. The premiere was stopped by a court injunction, she got invited to a Federal High Court hearing and she won, the ban placed on the movie was lifted. Okafor’s Law finally made it to Nigerian cinemas on Friday, 31st March as originally scheduled and Omoni had the last laugh. She even made it to one of our covers. Go First Lady!

 

#KeepTheChangeBae: This one got the Nigerian online community talking for two days straight and sent Nigerian brands a-flurry but the winner in all of it is Ore, the #5kbae herself. It was her clapback that caught our attention and it earned her endorsements, gifts and even an apology from her tantrum-throwing date, Pablo Ayodeji Kosibar. Ore, you’re the boss lady oh. #Wehdonema

 

LOSERS

Daniel Dino Jonah Melaye: We’re not sure what his name is anymore these days but what we know for sure is that this Nigerian senator would lead the league of losers unopposed for a long time. Online media house, Sahara Reporters called him out for a number of reasons all based on one thing: he did not graduate from university as he claimed.

In his own defense, Senator Dino released a truckload of proofs all pointing to one thing: he did not graduate from university. A questionable NYSC discharge certificate, a statement of result that read Bachelor of Arts from the Department of Geography and the most unimaginable, he showed up at the National Assembly in an academic garb. Since when did they start letting circus clowns into the Senate building though?

Oh! Did we forget? He made a video to shame his detractors too and that one video has made for some of the greatest memes of our time. Ajeku iya is the title of the soundtrack, by the way. BS in high places!

[Read also]: How exactly is Dino Melaye a senator in a sane country? 5 takeaways from this incredible madness

Senator Ali Ndume: After what started out as mere speculations, Senator Ali Ndume was finally the biggest victim in the Senate last week.

He was the one man who boldly brought Senator Dino Melaye’s certificate scandal to the floor of the House, it was because he raised the motion the current Vice Chancellor of the Ahmadu Bello University found his way to the House to declare before the Ethics Committee that Melaye graduated with a 3rd class degree. He also brought the accusations of the purchase of a bulletproof SUV by Senate President Bukola Saraki before the House.

So Senator Ndume was served a 6 month suspension simply for talking too much and doing what we call oversabi. Shame senate, shame!

Kemi Olunloyo: The most controversial journalist to ever come out of Nigeria in recent times got herself in unforeseen trouble when she published some unconfirmed stories about Port Harcourt-based pastor, David Ibiyeomie.

Without wasting time, Pastor Ibiyeomie got Olunloyo arrested, she was arraigned before a magistrate court for cybercrime and publishing defamatory reports against the pastor, the cybercrime charge was dropped leaving her with the defamation charge, she secured bail but is still remanded in prison.

President Donald Trump: Following his failure to repeal ObamaCare and replace with his unpopular American HealthCare, President Trump is obviously very upset.

To think that it was members of his own Republican who torpedoed h5is healthcare bill, Trump is ready to fire missiles at these in-house haters alongside Democrats and anyone who tries to get in his way, basically. That will be a crazy lot of people.

Then an injunction was placed on his revised travel ban too so it’s all loss for Mr Trump, still.