The Media Blog: To his eternal shame, Nigerians now know that Reuben Abati is a breast man

Abati Cossy

At what point do we draw the line between the personal and public lives of our celebrities? Question as old as time. It’s even more dicey when the people in question don’t fit as easily into the ‘celebrity’ mold, like, for example, Reuben Abati.

A ‘seasoned’ – even though, to be honest, we’ve always wondered why, for reasons we’ll get to shortly – journalist and a former Presidential spokesperson, Abati is something of a celebrity in many circles. But then, does that even matter? Whether or not you consider him someone whose personal life is worth wondering or speculating about, whatever you think about concerning yourself with the personal life of a public figure, whatever your rules are, they can’t apply to a man like Abati. No rhyme or reason can be applied to him, because he operates entirely outside the scope of such mundane concepts as common sense or decency.

And so it is that we are here today wondering how Reuben Abati decided upon today as the day on which we would find out the part of the female anatomy he’s most concerned with. Besides the sheer silliness (the nicest way anyone could refer to that pile of shameless drivel) that is the article he released today, and the inherent misogyny therein, what people will likely remember the most today is that this man, is a breast man.

[Read also: Reuben Abati: #BBNaija – Television as madness]

To be fair, the man would have given us plenty to consider without that. The fact that he clearly didn’t even watch the show he wrote the article about, the inaccuracy of the ‘facts’ to which he referred, the fact that this is just the latest in a long line of displays of senselessness by Abati. But no. That wasn’t enough. He had to let us know where his obsessions lie.

Consider this: “TBOSS, who claimed she didn’t need the money even exposed her breasts on live television more than once.”

A strange thing to point out right there, but, his point not being made properly, he continued. “I have seen better breasts, TBOSS.”

Oh, you have? Nice to know. But wait, you’re not done yet, sir? Okay. Go on. “I am not too sure those private jet owners will be excited by your fluffy, South-looking, slightly bigger than mangoes breasts.”

And then, of course, his killing blow. “If the same men see bigger assets, I mean, those interesting Ojiakor-like ones that look like papayas, pineapples and watermelons, they will not send private jets, they will deploy submarines and fighter jets!”

Who will tell this man to behave himself, please?

[Read also: The Thread: Does Reuben Abati have a breast fetish?]

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