by Daniel Adeyemi
Almost everything gets better with deliberate practice.
This includes expressing your thoughts and emotions. Depending on how you grew up, expressing your thoughts and emotions might not have been welcomed or come naturally but they’re important in relating to people.
Here’s what I’ve found that worked for me.
Taking time to think about how I really feel and choosing the right words to describe it.
I take pauses during the day to take note of how I’m feeling and what might have triggered it.
Sometimes when I’m excited or sad, I stop myself to ask, what just happened, why did I go from mainly feeling emotion A to emotion B.
Then I try to label what the emotion is. Surprisingly, knowing what word to use to describe is constantly an issue. Is this anger or disgust or both? I’m still learning to use more appropriate terms. Many times it’s a combination of two or more emotions, it’s fine. We experience many emotions at the same time but mostly take note of the dominant ones.
Then I tell myself I’m feeling X because of Y. And I either do something about it or just say it’s okay and move on.
It makes it easier for me to keep a tab on my emotional state.
It makes it easier for me to describe how I’m feeling to someone else because I already do it for myself.