by Ona Amanda Eze
Usually, she would spend so much time conversing with him over the phone or in person. They had grown fond of each other, but she, more. It all happened quickly, and over in a similar manner. It was only a short period, so she could easily move on, so you may think. However, this wasn’t a first, it was neither a third. Her friends would easily blame it on her meekness, but she would hitherto call it love. It’s all a mistake now, and a future repetition would mean folly. She’s completely gone; coiled up in her shell, away from illnesses of the heart. One can only hope.
It’s as easy to enclose ourselves and retreat into our fortress as we like, without having to explain ourselves to anybody, to quickly dispel people, to assume whatever, to underestimate them, as a result of past experiences we believe we’re preventing from occurring again. But here’s a big truth– heart breaks are no mistakes, they’re lessons and whether we see reason or not, they’re essential. They bring us to the core of ourselves, where we have to revisit our inner selves, find the courage to forge on and love ourselves even more.
Think of it this way. Imagine every time your heart got broken or something similar, you had a chance at reinventing yourself and being a better person, such that heartbreak channelled positively become a stepping stone to an exclusive self-discovery and personal self-development. Now, wouldn’t you just love to jump into the wrong relationship, get broken and become a better person? Considerable, but just so you know, I mayn’t be welcoming any ‘strange’ future emails. ¡Buena suerte!
Building a fortress has never been frowned upon, especially as it’s basically for our protection, but it’s definitely this, it’s fear, fear of a definite known, of being so accepting again and being thrown right back to an ‘undeserving’ spot. It’s isolation because we believe we’ve been gravely cheated and must take a lifetime off to strategize what not’s. It’s loss because instead of moving on, we bask in what ‘could have’, instead of what ‘should be’.
Inadvertently, we lose, it’s not too late, but we lose out on everything, every chance of self-growth, every shot at rediscovery, simply because we have made the sins of the father those of the son, purely because we have attached everyone to our past, likening them to enemies.
Little advice: every enemy is a potential friend, and likely a better one. Though having continually lost, going back to the game never depicts you as a loser, never.
I don’t know that your heart won’t get broken again; I don’t know if she’s your damsel in distress or you, her knight in shiny armour; Of course, I don’t know any of these, I’m just a girl who’s passionate about what I write, not a soothsayer. And although I may bear this advice in mind; I may not always adhere to it, because the heart wants what it wants and thus, I too make mistakes.
What I do know however is that being locked away behind walls displaces us from things we should possess. As much as we think we’re protected, we only attract more harm to us, and lose potential self and maybe communal benefits. Heart breaks are needed.
Op–ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija
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