(ˈkrɪndʒwəːði)

 

We bring you a roundup of some of the most popular yet totally cringeworthy stories that made the rounds last week – all the things your regular newsmakers said or did that made for the biggest and most awkward moments.

Rochas Okorocha = Insanity

Don’t blame anyone for calling a 55-year-old man mad but when a man has gone nuts, it’s only right to say it to his face.

Governor Okorocha capped his many sins by erecting a statue of another lousy character, South African president, Jacob Zuma. And he reportedly spent N520 million on that project…in a state where workers are groaning over non-payment of salaries.

Then he audaciously announced that more statues will be unveiled. Who knows? He may as well be planning to set up a ministry in charge of ‘erections’. Because of course, there are no limits to the madness that is going on in Okorocha’s Imo right now.

Shall we pray?

Pray that God forgives us of every sin we may collectively committed to deserve men of this ilk in Nigeria…

How much would we be needing to transport our prayers to the heavens though? One point four billion naira.

Yes, it had to be spelt out just so it’s clear. In former National Security Adviser, Sambo Dasuki’s world, you need billions and more billions of naira to set up prayers for the country, according to new findings by the EFCC.

Oh poor Trump, you did it again!

The man can’t help but be a menace. But of all of his atrocities last week, we picked out this peculiar one where he’s alleged to have told the widow of a fallen soldier, Army Sgt. La David Johnson that her late husband knew what he signed up for when he joined the military.

The late soldier was killed in an ambush in Niger earlier this month and his wife claims Trump said to her via a phone call, “he knew what he was signing up for, but when it happens it hurts anyway”. Of course, Trump has denied ever using those words and he says he has proof.

But the Donald is the last person to believe in situations as this. Insensitive remarks are right up his alley.

Between President Buhari, state governors and the rest of us

So President Buhari met with a representation of state governors in Abuja on Tuesday and we hear he scolded them for owing workers’ salaries. He said to them “How can anyone go to bed and sleep soundly when workers have not been paid their salaries for months?” Legit question.

But the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it? How does President Buhari sleep at night knowing that his administration is overrun with corrupt men? How does President Buhari sleep soundly knowing that he has failed everyone who believed so much in him in 2015?

We could go on and on…

People of God, madness found a home in Kaduna

The Chairman of the Teachers’ Union in Zaria Local Government in Kaduna said this week, “Majority of our members here are Muslims and we do not have anywhere to lodge our complaint except to our creator. Therefore, we intend to start a three-day fasting on Oct. 17, in addition to prayers, to seek God’s intervention on the planned mass sack of our members whom government said did not pass its examination.”

Nigeria makes for premium theatre…