In case you didn’t know, Modupe Ozolua isn’t the only person offering plastic surgery options to middle class Nigerians willing to part with a few hundred thousand Naira in exchange for a flatter stomach, bigger breasts and in some rare cases a prettier vagina. There are discreet private clinics in Lekki and Wuse offering the best cosmetic readjustments money can buy.

While right now the cosmetic body modification is largely patronised by women, men are getting wise to the game and starting to do some plastic surgery of their own; mostly restricted to hair transplants and in some liposuction.

But in first world countries, with their constant light and first world problems, men are fully invested in the cosmetic surgery movement. And they’ve gone past the regular surface stuff to the bits that no one but their potential sex partners see. Cosmopolitan recently did an article on the rise of non-invasive scrotal cosmetic procedures. Yup, it sounds exactly what you think it is. Men are injecting things into their scrotums to make them look ‘prettier’. The preferred substance is Botox (a shortened form for Botulism, a toxin deadly to humans if it enters the bloodstream but relatively harmless in muscle tissue) Botox smoothens wrinkles and makes scroti hang lower and look larger.

According to the article, most of the men do it because they say it makes their penis look more like ‘What penises’ are supposed to look like’. Considering no two penises look alike, it’s a little confusing what the ideal penis is supposed to be.

What is to be blamed for this sudden interest in penile perfection?

Perhaps pornography. At least that’s what was blamed when women began to get vaginal reconstruction to make their vaginas prettier. But we suspect it is both simpler and more complex than that. Whatever it is, scrotal plastic surgery is now a thing and now you have one more thing on your body to worry about.

Editor