by Mfon Iquaibom
Talking about victories, battles, successes and accomplishments, turmoil, confusion, beauty and inspiration and the likes, I would like to tell my story in three parts; childhood, teenage hood and what I will like to call my little adulthood phase my reason is because I’m just two years into it. In life or in my small life there is one person I will ever be grateful to and that person is. I know I’m supposed to be grateful to my parents or guardians, friends, teachers I am truly I am but the one person my soul and being will be entirely grateful to is God. My little life has not always been as it is; peaceful, bold, carefree, and able to do what I want without the fear of the next person as long as it pleases God. All this talk about God, God, God well I didn’t come to this point of solely dependence on God like a new born baby does for breast milk, it did take some time but I did.
My growing up wasn’t so easy and I’m not talking about financially or economically because technically we were doing we were doing quite well; the children went to school, we ate three square meals a day, wore good clothes were able to pay our bills but beneath all this I wasn’t totally fine in terms of the psychological aspect of the human system. I grew up in a home I usually called the house of steel with two brothers elder brothers and a sister where you did as you were told my dad is one man that cherishes quietness so much that he doesn’t want to know why anyone is crying; all he wants in quietness. Thinking of it now I’m wondering why I let everything get to me its not like the children growing up in the Nigerian society didn’t experience all I did or even wore but I let it get to me and due to this I ended up with this shy and extremely calm resolve.
I hardly believed in myself and this really affected me as it followed me into the teenage aspect of my life. I was so shy, reserved and calm that my heart beat so fast when a guy walks up to me. The worst part of it is that I gained a tinsy bit of self-confidence when a guy any guy told me I’m pretty especially in this Nigerian society where one has to be sharp and proactive to scale through. Most times I wished I was told a lot of all I passed through before I did guess my story would have been better.
I wasn’t such a bright student while growing up I hated math like most people did.one thing I tell myself there are times that are not just some people’s times. Secondary school wasn’t my time; results were bad but when I got into the university my time to shine came and I did. I ended up being good in my studies and came out with a good grade. Considering the aspect of guys and me I did let what they said get to me and wasn’t able to say no when I needed to but I thank God the story is different now. This low self-confidence I had led me into things I wish I never did; rape, heart break, depression all because a guy broke my heart. I would cry, get into binge eating just to forget and the next time would find myself back into the same situation it was like a circle that I wouldn’t break out of but I did.
During my teenage to adulthood stage I found something or someone but I did. One day before my 19th birthday I got tired and angry. I wondered why my life was the way it was although I have been hearing about Him I just decided to actually reach out to Him and I did. He did one awesome thing, He fixed up my life and that’s why I said I’m entirely grateful to Him, to God. As I studied His word more and read more I was able to find out who I am; a jewel in the midst of the rubble and in Him I was able to gain self-confidence, boldness, and so much courage I could never find in any guy. I put this as my success story in this nation finding God.
This entry was submitted as part of the Nigerian Voices competition organized by YNaija.com.
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