by MENSXP Team

To communicate with your partner is probably the toughest thing to do when you are going through a bad phase. You both need to behave like adults, show maturity and not yell or fight when you sit to talk. 

1. What’s the problem?

You cannot save anything unless you know what is killing it. The first thing to do is to figure out what is killing the relationship, why it is dying and how did it reach the sad state that it currently is in. This will call for introspection and a sincere effort to figure out what’s wrong. Put your head to it and ask yourself repeatedly ‘what’s the problem’ till you find an eye-opening, enlightening answer.

2. Communicate

To communicate with your partner is probably the toughest thing to do when you are going through a bad phase. You both need to behave like adults, show maturity and not yell or fight when you sit to talk. Stay calm and stay focused on addressing the issues at hand. Give one another the space and freedom to talk without any inhibitions. Once you hear what the other has to say, this will begin to look clearer.

3. Ask common friends to play mediator

This can be tricky. Your common friends can be asked to play unbiased mediators in your fight. Here, two things can happen. One, they successfully help you sort out issues. Two, they end up taking sides and you are now not only left with a dying relationship but also with a dying friendship.

4. Assume responsibility

Once you have thought things through and are communicating with your partner, you need to start assuming responsibility; responsibility for the relationship, for what went wrong, for your role in allowing things to get out of hand. Once you own up to your errors, you will feel slightly less burdened and will begin to see things with the right perspective.

5. Forgive and comprise

If you have accepted your errors, then you understand the importance and power of forgiveness. You must forgive each other if the relationship has to survive the storm. Forgiveness is not about forgetting what happened, but about accepting the reality of the situation and deciding to rise above it. Also, without compromise you will head nowhere in life. So, why not start with a relationship that really matters to you?

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.