by Lauren Vork

Be on the lookout for signs of same-sex attraction. Watch to see if he flirts with or checks out other men or seems to have sexually charged relationships with close male friends.

As anyone with any experience in the dating world knows, some relationships just aren’t meant to be. One of the most obvious examples of a doomed coupling is one where sexual orientations don’t line up, but unfortunately such partnerings are often attempted anyway due to a gay person’s desire to “fit in” and live as a heterosexual. If you’re worried that the man you’re with is gay, it’s a good idea to step back and take an objective look at some of his relationship behavior.

• 1

  Avoid making assumptions based on stereotypes. Popular cultural influences will often try to pigeonhole men as being gay or straight based on factors such as hobbies, interests, mannerisms and personal tastes. But while certain trends may exist commonly enough to make a few jokes, these aren’t really an accurate way to determine a person’s sexual orientation.

• 2

  Look for religious and/or anti-gay family and background influences. In a time when society is becoming more and more accepting of different sexual orientations and people’s right to live openly in gay and lesbian relationships, most people who stay closeted do so because of strong anti-gay pressure from their families or the communities they grew up in. If he comes from a national culture that’s less accepting of gays, from a small, conservative town, or if his family strongly adheres to a religious faith that preaches against homosexuality, he may be living in the closet and dating women as a result.

• 3

  If you’re sleeping together, observe his reaction to your sex life. If he seems enthusiastic about regular sexual contact with you, it’s difficult to make an argument that he isn’t attracted to women. Likewise, if he’s easily aroused, sexually responsive and has an easy time reaching orgasm with you, he probably is not gay (though bear in mind that sexual dysfunction is not necessarily a sign that he is, as he may be experiencing other health or relationship problems). Pay particular attention to his direct reaction to your genitals themselves (i.e., seeing them, touching them or performing oral sex). According to sex-advice guru and gay activist Dan Savage, it’s usually much more difficult for a gay man to feign a straight man’s enjoyment in this area.

• 4

  Watch for gay porn. If he’s gay, chances are good that he’s viewing gay porn once in a while. Check his Internet browsing history and temporary Internet file images.

• 5

  Be on the lookout for signs of same-sex attraction. Watch to see if he flirts with or checks out other men or seems to have sexually charged relationships with close male friends.

• 6

  Consider that he may be bisexual. According to the statistical reports of Alfred Kinsey, same-sex attraction among men who are also attracted to women, even predominantly so, is not uncommon.

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Read  this article on eHow

 

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