Dear Governor Yari,

Before you come up with another sorry “what I actually said” piece, I’ll stop you right here. Just so I can ask why you think so highly of yourself.

You think you are so high up there that it’s not possible that your ineptitude as a Governor is what led to Zamfara State recording the highest casualty during the most recent meningitis outbreak in Nigeria. It had to be God punishing the people who made you Governor for their sins. I bet you sleep at night hugging a smelly Kermit teddy that croaks: “So what if hundreds are dying from a bacterial outbreak under my watch?”.

Your God-sent self wakes up every morning, flying to Abuja when it pleases you while allowing the Federal Ministry of Health handle your responsibilities.

It’s the same way in November 2016, when bandits got crazy and started killing people in villages in the State where you were elected to secure lives and property, you said it was the President’s “constitutional responsibility” to send security men to the State. Apparently, your own job was simply to “brief him on the security situation in the State.”

What a way to speak about issues?

How can you then, in good conscience believe yourself to be better than an investigation headed by a “Deputy Commissioner of Police”. Look at you go, billionaire. At this rate, even boys scouts can look at you and call you out on your many faults.

We have seen too many like you in Nigeria to be content and calmed down by simple statements like the one you sent your media aide to give denying that you own any plot of land or hotel in Lagos. Ibrahim Magu’s agency thinks $500,000 and NGN 500 million can be linked to you as regards mismanagement of the Paris Club refunds.  And you want him to sit back and leave you be just because you say you did not steal? Clap for yourself, Mr. Returning champion of the Inept Governors’ Contest.

“To me, I am going to write to the Federal Government that enough is enough; that either the EFCC should do its work or we should ‘do showdown’ with them (EFCC) because nobody became governor to be intimidated, to be harassed, to be abused by a DCP… “In the case of my humble self, I have no idea why the EFCC is actually interested in the issue of the London Paris Club refund.”

Wow Mr class captain. Look at you. I bet you didn’t think the investigations into the mismanagement of the Paris Club refunds would ever turn on you, the billionaire that you are. Bet you never thought a simple DCP, even though he now heads the main anti-graft agency in Nigeria, would dare look towards you questioningly.

When in February you said you were in support of the FG’s fight against corruption and you were awaiting the EFCC’s investigations on the matter, bet slept that night hugging your none-of-my-business Kermit teddy tight as you slept.

Please Governor Yari, for your sake and for the sake of salvaging whatever respect the public has for you, please be humble and let other people do their jobs even if you won’t do yours.