Dear celebrities, we’ve seen just about enough eggplants to last a lifetime

On behalf of all men with a penis (big or small), I’d like to say- can the eggplant pictures stop already!

It took the contribution of Skuki’s Vavavoom to break the camel’s back.

Vavavoom has no business sharing eggplant pictures on Instagram till he’s managed to put together a decent record.

For those who don’t know Vavavoom- he’s one half of the Akin Alabi signed duo, Skuki, a group of two brothers, who overcompensate in stage-jumping and microphone-harassment, what they lack in actual talent.

voom

The eggplant is actually another name for ‘aubergine’, a purple egg-shaped fruit of a tropical Old World plant, which is eaten as a vegetable.

However, in the past couple of years, the term eggplant has been used as a popular social media term where men with large penis’ take pictures of their bulges through their sweatpants or large white towels, with the aim of it resembling the actual eggplant.

I bet many Nigerian male celebrities who have indulged in the eggplant showing-off business, do not know how the term came to be and why it is called what it is called.

For some reason, celebrities are the prominent majority partakers in the act of eggplant-flaunting, and while some achieve the desired result- a slanted sausage-like shape beneath the fabric, others fail woefully with- an uninspired senile weiner.

By now, we should have seen many shapes and sizes of eggplants, depending on how much stimulation and motivation was given to the penis before making the frantic dash to stand in front of the mirror and push out the chest, harden the stomach to make the 6-pacs visible, stroke the penis one last time, bend it sideways and SNAP.

Just like that, the eggplant is created and then uploaded on social media, specifically Instagram, where the gospel will be promptly spread.

Guys, how do you feel?

Fulfilled and proud?

Impressed with yourself?

If you are also wondering what the possible objective of sharing eggplant pictures is, as well as tired of it, you’re advised to join the queue.

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And just when this was all done and dusted with… a stylist, Jeremiah Ogbodo, follows suit, by sharing his own eggplant picture, with the item on display sticking out from a printed yellow pyjama trousers.

eggplant1

 

 

Comments (4)

  1. I tire o, eggplant here guava there.
    Dont mind them,yeye boys…if the eggplants are small and tiny will they be showing it off like that.
    They all know how to show eggplants but ask them to use it well make the woman head scatter,dem no go fit.
    All na to show, them no go fit pass 1 round,cant even last more than 1 minute.

    Abeg they should all go and find somewhere to sit.

  2. Nice! Well written damilola. we are so tired of seeing eggplant flying around, eggplants that in actual sense are usually stuffed and hardly do what it is meant for.

  3. Yes pls we are tired of seeing joysticks flying up and down in our faces from our computer screens and not our beds. Huge suggestion from the female folks, if you aren’t intending to make use of it when the bulge appears, we suggest you keep it firmly in your pants.

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cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail