Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous.
Here are the ones we saw today:
1.
The end time is here and revelations is slowly unfolding before our eyes but we are talking about who used 50 kobo to buy zobo and kuli kuli ??
— Aba Boy ? (@Frank_LeanXV) March 17, 2020
Read your Bible, pray every day. REPEAT.
2.
Some girls are wicked, how can you spend your whole day with him and get home and update your status with “what a boring day”???
— Rex_highstar✪ (@manlike_rex) March 17, 2020
Ouch.
3.
Once had an urgent meeting to pitch an idea to this rich man who’d recently lost his sight.
I lost the contract.
I realise now that I shouldn’t have started with “So, as you can see…”
— Four-eyed Edo boy™ (@Alex_Houseof308) March 17, 2020
4.
This period is the time where “if only you wrote your JAMB the way you eat food, you would’ve passed “, becomes the most used phrase in Nigerian homes.
— MONITORING_SPIRIT (@Sonjoe_Kutuh) March 17, 2020
Indeed.
5.
Twitter for Low Calories no like how Caprison Twitter dey tweet..we are the age of war
— Drizzy (@drizzyposhh_) March 17, 2020
With a sprinkle of Coronavirus.
6.
I’ve learnt never to stress over a man, just be you. It doesn’t matter if you give the best sex position or cook the best meal. He might just end up with someone who doesn’t even measure up in anyway. Just be you and never try to impress or go out of your way for anyone.
— Oluwafunmilayo?? (@FunmiKolz) March 17, 2020
Food for thought.
7.
Methuselah Twitter want make we dey clean chair for them as them dey gist for timeline…set awon fool at maturity ??
— UGLIEST FINع DΔDDY †? (@skizyman) March 17, 2020
You aren’t going to be young forever.
8.
So because you witnessed the intercourse btw The Holy Spirit and Mary, Twitter should be for you alone??
— Brezzaddict? (@waxzyy_) March 17, 2020
Don’t forget to get back when you find an answer.
9.
These Twitter for Old Testament should do fast and kick the bucket abeg so we would stop hearing about how they broke wine with Jesus in Galilee and how we aren’t their mates plixx ??
— UGLIEST FINع DΔDDY †? (@skizyman) March 17, 2020
OK.
10.
I usually make a big deal whenever Uju comes home from school. I scream “Uju is back!” and hug and kiss her like she went to war ? Today she didn’t see me when she came back, I was in the bathroom, so she barged into the bathroom to announce “mommy, Uju back!” ???
— Ada (@Fels77) March 17, 2020
Awww.
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