by Kolapo Olapoju

1. Mbu, the puppet-lion arrives Lagos.

Dear Mbu J. Mbu, Lagos is not like Rivers, or Abuja, or even those villages you’ve threatened to bring down.

AIG Joseph Mbu, the man who calls himself “the lion of the Police force”, has been strategically transferred to Lagos by the Police High Command.

2. Distinguished Fayose is on his own.

Ayo Fayose is a distinguished leader of the PDP… but the party doesn’t share his sentiments and opinions.

The Peoples Democratic Party Presidential Campaign Organisation, PDP, has distanced itself from the newspaper advert sponsored by Governor Ayo Fayose of Ekiti State, suggesting the All Progressives Congress, (APC) candidate, Muhammadu Buhari, will die in office if voted president.

3. Seriously! Former executives want NNPC scrapped.

While serving as management executives of NNPC, these people never mentioned scrapping… but now that they are ‘former’, they want the corporation gone.

Many former management executives of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, NNPC, and other oil companies’ senior executives have called for the scrapping of the Corporation, saying, it has destroyed its values and hindered the growth of the Nigerian oil and gas sector.

4. Agbaje, the apprentice governor.

Lagos State Governor, Babatunde Fashola, says Jimi Agbaje, lacks the qualification… to lord over a state like Lagos.

Fashola said of the the Peoples Democratic Party governorship candidate: “We are trying to get out of the mess at the federal level and their apprentice governor wants to put us in more mess. The PDP-led Federal Government cannot even look after the police. I am the one funding their police. The Alausa Immigration Passport office was built furnished and equipped by the state government.”

5. Haba, we’ve only done five operations.

After a mere five operations, these robbers were nabbed… and they are really displeased about it.

They were nabbed while attempting to sell a stolen Toyota Camry 2010 model, which was snatched in the Bariga area of Lagos.

6. Your love for me without PVC is fake.

Experience has taught Muhammadu Buhari that ‘love and support’ of the masses does not always translate to votes.

Apparently, he has learned his lesson, and has urged his supporters to endeavour to get the permanent voter cards as the love and support shown towards him would be wasted without their votes.

“You should know that whatever love and support you will show to me, without you having your permanent voters card as the only means of casting your votes, then the love and support would be wasted and of no use.”

7. Certificate or not, the man is qualified.

The APC says its presidential candidate, Muhammadu Buhari, has every right to contest the presidency… according to the constitution.

The All Progressives Congress says Buhari is qualified to contest next month’s presidential election even if the army says it is not in possession of his certificates.