5 (sure) ways to talk to women effectively

by Nisha Samson

Black couple date

Most men don’t approach women they’re interested in because of the fear of the great big “R”. Rejection is a dirty work and one that is difficult to digest. However, women love attention and women like to be approached.

1. Be Yourself

You see her sipping her coffee delicately and think about approaching her. And then you wonder if you’re good enough. You decide otherwise, but you know you simply must. And that’s when it hits you, you will approach her, but you will present an embellished part of you. Sounds familiar? Men, if you want to approach a woman, approach a woman. And when you do, make sure that you are yourself. It’s futile putting up a show especially because the facade is bound to come crashing down one day. We appreciate honesty and like it best when you are yourself when you approach us and when you strike conversation with us. It tells us that you’re comfortable in your skin and you are who you are – take it or leave it. And in most cases, we’ll take it.

2. Pick-Up Lines and After… 

You see her and as if on cue, you rummage through your brain thinking of all the “awesome”pick-up lines you’ve learnt. In your hurry, you don’t just mess-up a pick-up line, you come off sounding like an idiot. Here’s the secret – use a pick-up line only if it’s an original and only if you’re confident enough to carry on a conversation after the initial “pick-up” rapture. These lines are meant as conversation openers, nothing more. They’re meant to invoke humour that eventually leads to a conversation. However, most men focus just on the pick-up line and when it comes to conversation, they falter. As mentioned above, use one only if it’s an original, if not, be confident enough to boot the lines and rely on your skills to talk to her.

3. Discard the Fear Of Rejection

Most men don’t approach women they’re interested in because of the fear of the great big “R”. Rejection is a dirty work and one that is difficult to digest. However, women love attention and women like to be approached. Irrespective of whether she may or may not reject you, approach her. There’s no harm in trying to talk to a woman you like as opposed to not talking to her at all. Besides, it’s ridiculous to thwart your chances before you’ve even taken one!

4. The Number Game

This one’s tricky. You want her number but should you ask for it? A direct ask depends completely on how well your conversation is going. The safest way to go about this is to ask for her business card. If she has one, she’ll give it to you and you can tell her that you’ll call her some time. In case she doesn’t have one, give her a pen and paper and ask her to give you her details. Alternatively, you can give her your business card. However, if you two are getting along like a house on fire, then ask her for her number directly.

5. Have Back-Up Lines 

In most cases, women will be receptive and open to carrying on a conversation with you. But, there may be a few who won’t. Be prepared to accept that they won’t and have a couple of jokes in answer to their disinterest. Not only will it lighten the situation, but it may give way to a conversation after all. Remember, back-up lines are just that back-up lines, nothing more, nothing less.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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